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Week 1 Weigh In (I’m down!) + Why I’m Sharing

Being the first week you’d think I would have planned a little better to have certain foods in the house – but it wasn’t the case. I actually bought a box of halloween chocolates from Costco the day before my first weigh-in because it was on sale. (I honestly don’t know what I was thinking.) Baked goods and chocolate are the two things I find so tempting and usually try not to have them in the house often.

As a parent who’s been learning to eat more whole foods and has personally healed and continues to heal various health issues, I still find it tricky at times to balance the foods I know are good for us while also allowing the kids to eat foods they’d like that aren’t so healthy. Seems it’s an ongoing process.

Click to Week 1 Food & Activity Diary

Why I’m Sharing

Once I discovered back in 2014 I had leaky gut, I became incredibly interested in food from a health and nutrition perspective and slowly made many changes both with my diet and environment over time. First thing was to eliminate dairy, reduce cheese and other dairy sources since they were inflammatory and replaced them with almond milk. I’ve never gone back since. Then, it was reducing canned and processed foods like cereals, processed meat and cheese etc. At that time I didn’t eliminate but rather reduced and tried to incorporate more fresh vegetables and fruit while paying closer attention to how certain foods made me feel. Throughout this time, I was also doing a lot of research and found that sugar was a major culprit for cancer (among many other factors) and found a lot of information that resonated.

A couple years ago, I was living with my father for a brief time while he was very sick with a list of health issues including congestive heart failure. I was trying to provide some health tips such as eating oatmeal in the morning instead of cereal to help his blood sugar but it was tough because Doctors had advised he eat a low salt diet which also meant he had to stay away from foods he really enjoyed. In a short period of time, we received biopsy results he had a very rare blood cancer called Erdheim Chester Disease which is an aggressive cancer that attacks every organ and bone in the body usually within 3 years. We unfortunately didn’t find this out until all of his organs had already been attacked and it was absolutely devastating to know what his body was going through, and he rarely complained so kept it to himself.

It was either the day we received biopsy results or the following day I bought myself a massive bag of Reese’s Mix from Costco and ate the entire bag within a couple days. It was the first time I caved in a while at that time and it was then I realized just how much I’d relied on food to cope with my pain and discomfort throughout my adult life.

My father’s health declined rapidly after the results and was admitted to the hospital where he was put on oxygen indefinitely. This isn’t how my father wanted to live and just 4 days after he was discharged, he passed away peacefully in his sleep. Thankfully he is no longer suffering, especially since things progressed so quickly after we got the results

For months afterward, I was so angry. Angry at the world, angry at people around me, angry at how people weren’t showing up for me, angry at the childhood wounds that were showing up, angry I couldn’t help him change his eating habits sooner, angry at sugar, angry that hospitals serve crappy food to sick patients, angry that corporations profit off making people sick. I was looking at the world through a very angry lens. A traumatized lens. Grief can be quite a process and I wasn’t only grieving my father, but also many experiences throughout my life I didn’t know I still needed to grieve.

I share this because during the past few months while in quarantine, I realized my connection to food had become unhealthy particularly over the past couple of years. I had moved from a place of simply making healthy choices, to choosing out of fear. I’m still healing the parts of me that hurt from watching someone I love suffer and also the part of me who feels scared to experience the same cancer. In addition, the low carb, no sugar, less fruit, etc fads wreaked havoc on my nervous system, hormones and mental health while my body was already under a lot of emotional stress. I was also projecting my pain and fear rather than sitting with it.

I’ve learned a lot about the foods my body will and will not tolerate, but I’ve learned even more about emotions, core wounds and subconscious programming so during this journey, my plan is to combine what I’ve learned about both for the first time while continuing to learn even more. I’m a firm believer when we feel our best, vanity will follow. The reverse is ignoring the pain which won’t go away until it’s addressed.

For overall health reasons, my goal is to be in the healthy BMI range which is why my goal is 150 lbs. While briefly at this weight a couple years ago, I felt great physically but I wasn’t emotionally healthy so I look forward to this. I won’t be doing any diets or fads but I am going to work towards eating more whole foods that help me feel good and exercise to feel even better. There’s too many promoted quick fixes on the market today so I want to show the realtime process to lose weight in a realistic way while making the needed changes for long term success. I’m committed, so sharing with others will help to keep me accountable too!

Week 1 Food & Exercise Diary

Average 1800 /day
– Naked green smoothie
– Gluten free oatmeal with strawberries, blueberries and salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– Double chocolate protein bar
– Chicken sandwich and side Buddha salad from restaurant
176120 min yoga
– Gluten free oatmeal with blueberries, banana, apple, salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– French toast with two eggs, blueberries on top and real organic maple syrup
– Chickpea spiral pasta with tomato sauce, chicken meatballs and parmesan
– Dark chocolate açai & blueberries
– Decaf mint tea with little almond milk
– 2 mini chocolate bars (Kit Kat & Smarties
197671 minute walk

26 min yoga

– Gluten free oatmeal with blueberries, banana, salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– Apple and dark chocolate açai & blueberries
– Salad with ceasar dressing, mushrooms and baked chicken strips
– Chocolate Mint Protein bar
– Popcorn
16777 minute bedtime yoga
– Eggs with spinach, mushrooms and parmesan
– Smoothie with organic greek yogurt, kale and super fruit blend
– Mixed green salad with goat cheese, salmon and sweet dijon vinaigrette dressing
– Banana, strawberries
– Popcorn
104122 minute run

19 minute yoga
– Gluten free oatmeal with strawberries, blueberries and salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– Naked green smoothie
– Whole wheat bread sandwich with light mayo and roasted chicken (from whole chicken)
– Chicken meatballs on ceaser salad with organic sweet potato fries
– Popcorn
– Mini chocolate bars (Kit Kat & Smarties)
216738 minute walk
– Gluten free oatmeal with blueberries, banana and salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– Whole wheat sandwich with light mayo, roasted chicken and chaser salad
– Naked green smoothie
– Chocolate peanut butter protein bar
– Fresh salmon and organic sweet potato fries
– Mini chocolate bar (Kit Kat)
193867 minute bike ride

12 min Bedtime yoga
– Gluten free oatmeal with blueberries, banana, apple, salad topper (pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and dried cranberries)
– Double chocolate protein bar
– Ceasar salad
– Grass fed beef hamburger w cheese, mayo, lettuce and tomato, and salad with tomato, cucumber, strawberries and French dressing
– Homemade zucchini bread
2059House chores

16 min bedtime yoga
WEIGHT LOSS – /GAIN +-2.2 lbs!176.4 lbs

I was fairly busy the first few days doing things around the house, running errands, taking kids to activities and then Wed & Thurs were home body days aside from the activities listed. I didn’t plan meals very well during the busy days and since I was starving and didn’t want to cook by dinner time, I ended up getting take-out from a restaurant (not fast food) on the way home and also picked up a few protein bars to have on-hand. Generally though, I ate many vegetables and fruit with portion sizes that were satisfying and didn’t restrict myself anything I really wanted.

As a side note: For my activities, I use either the Strava app or MapMyWalk app since both automatically input the calories to MyFitnessPal. Being a visual learner, this works well for me. I don’t typically track the calories for yoga unless it’s a more intense practice.

Our sense of agency, how much we feel in control, is defined by our relationship with our bodies and its rhythms: our waking and sleeping and how we eat, sit, and walk define the contours of our days. In order to find our voice, we have to be in our bodies – able to breathe fully and able to access our inner sensations.

Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk

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